The Ransom of Red Selky

This event is from November 23, 2013. It was inspired by O. Henry’s “The Ransom of Red Chief”. –Elizabella

Scene 1: Royal Guard HQ
Scene 2: Dragon Nursery
Scene 3: Buc’s Den
● Interrogation
● Kendal Reports
● Kidnapper Cautions
Scene 4: Pirate Cave
● Fiece Battle, with Cookies and Milk
● Captain Pirate
Scene 5: Granny’s House


Scene 1: Royal Guard HQ
The Royal Guard gathers at the Warriors’ Guild in Britain.

Gwendolen Kincade: I was going to have you investigate a robbery at a nearby bakery. It has some odd aspects, according to the report I received. However, I just received a note from Princess Mirendel. So, I’ll ask Kendal to investigate the bakery robbery.
[Commander Kincade hands the information to Charles Kendal. He departs to investigate the bakery robbery.]

[Commander Kincade places the note from Princess Mirendel on the table. It’s a piece of pink parchment with “HELP! Mirrendl” scribbled in bright purple.]

Red Dawn: Help, kinda to the point. *smiles*


Scene 2: Dragon Nursery
Princess Mirendel, a baby platinum dragon, is fluttering anxiously in the nursery she shares with her “brother” Selkestal, a baby crimson dragon. They are usually watched over by Adelais, a representative of the Platinum Dragon Synod, and Granny, a beloved citizen of Yew.

Malag aste: Hello Mirendel. Good to see you again.

John: Hello Dragon.

[Princess Mirendel appears to be very agitated.]

Malag aste: What is wrong?

Princess Mirendel: Selky was kidnapped’ed! Mirendel wish and wish and Selky not come back! Adelais look and look and no Selky! Gone, gone, gone, brother all gone!
[Princess Mirendel loses control of her form and transforms back and forth between human and dragon.]

[Malag aste looks at the ransom note, which is a large piece of parchment with just the word “Ransom” written in the center.]

[Princess Mirendel looks in the dresser drawers to see if Selkestal is hiding there.]
[Princess Mirendel looks in the toy chest to see if Selkestal is hiding there.]

[A member of the Royal Guard notices a book entitled “Buc’s Den Adventures for Junior Buccaneers!” on the floor by the baby crimson’s golden slumber hoard.]
John: *gesturing to the book* Are you sure he has not gone on his own to Buccaneer’s Den?

Princess Mirendel: Maybe. Not sure how, him not fly that far. Have to get Selky back by Thanksgiving! Mirendel not want to Granny to be sad!
[Princess Mirendel flutters her wings in impatience.]

Malag aste: Yes, we do need to get him back. Very dangerous for him to be gone. We want to help you find him.

Princess Mirendel: Mirendel wish and wish and no Selky! Other wishes work, but no Selky!
[Princess Mirendel looks in the toy chest again.]

John: Buccaneer’s Den, I guess. *gesturing to the child’s book*

[Princess Mirendel closes her eyes and wishes for a gate to Buccaneer’s Den, which promptly appears.]
Princess Mirendel: You check there. Mirendel check dresser and toy chest again.


Scene 3: Buc’s Den

● Interrogation

The Royal Guard goes through the gate and find themselves at the Buccaneer’s Den docks. They are immediately attacked by what are unmistakably kidnappers (though they have pirate hats and long, bushy tails). When the kidnappers are slain, they fall to the ground and fade away. Finally, there is only one kidnapper left, Groghead Jed.

Groghead Jed: *groans* This just gets worse and worse. You really can’t hurt me anymore.

John: I would not be so certain.

Malag aste: We seem to have quickly dispatched your friends

Chrono Dragon: You probably have scurvy.

Groghead Jed: Do you own the thing?

Zeddicus: What thing?

Malag aste: No one owns him.

Malag aste: He is his own dragon.

Groghead Jed: Yeah, we stole the little red dragon.

Zeddicus: Jerks

Groghead Jed: It’s not like it was a real kid or anything.

Zeddicus: It’s someone’s kid.

Malag aste: If you give him back I won’t kill you. How about that?

Groghead Jed holds his forehead as though he has the worst headache ever.

Chrono Dragon: Definitely scurvy.

Groghead Jed: We thought we could get a reward from the king for returning him or something.

Martyna Z’muir: Not the brightest plan.

Malag aste: His sister wishes him back.

Groghead Jed: It has a sister?! There are more like that?!

Malag aste: If you don’t give him back, I cannot vouch for your safety.

John: Where is it now?

Groghead Jed: I don’t know. I don’t even really remember anything from more than a week or so ago.

Kruger: You do know.

Malag aste: You best fess up, if you want to live.

Groghead Jed: It’s as though my life started when I was suddenly in a group of kidnappers. *mutters to himself and shakes his head* So we kidnapped the dragon and it all went wrong.

Chrono Dragon: Maybe he’s a clone.

Martyna Z’muir: Oh… joy. He’s not real.

Groghead Jed: He’s real! He’s so real, little talking dragon brat.

Groghead Jed: He could talk. *shakes head*

Malag aste: Of course he can.

Max Damage: Here comes the insanity plea.

Chrono Dragon: Hmm… a clone with scurvy.

Deavous: Where is the little dragon?

Groghead Jed: It was so strange. He said he wanted us to be pirates, and hats appeared on our heads!

Martyna Z’muir: It’s Selky’s turn to manifest things…

Max Damage: He can do that.

Groghead Jed: Yesterday, we were attacked by other pirates, on a floating ship! *shakes head as though to clear it* I don’t mean floating on the water. It was in the air! We won that battle. *looks rather proud of himself for a moment* Then the little red dragon insisted we bring him to Buc’s Den. He was disappointed though, to find out how small the caverns are.

John: Is that where he is now? The caverns?

Groghead Jed: So the brat demanded we bring him to “a better pirate cabe.”

Zeddicus: Cabe?

John: Baby speak for cave.

Groghead Jed: And also that we stop off for “yummies” along the way.

Zeddicus: 🙂

Groghead Jed: He finally went to sleep for a little while and some of us escaped. *looks around* Well, I guess at this point I’d say that I escaped, since the others are dead now.

Zeddicus: So a little baby dragon kidnapped you?

Malag aste: Actually, I think he created them.

John: As does the librarian *nodding to Martyna* I think it is more than that… I think the baby dragon created him out of its own imagination.

Groghead Jed: We had to hide from him. He thought we were playing hide-n-seek. Eventually he went away… then you all showed up and for some reason the others fought you. Did I mention when he said he thought we were all secretly werewolves? *shudders* I wanted to find whoever was responsible for that dragon and shake them and say, “Look, just take the brat back. We have tails now!”

● Kendal Reports

[Charles Kendal recalls in.]

Charles Kendal: Commander Kincade said this information might be useful to you. It is about the bakery robbery. *takes out small notebook* Several humans in pirate hats and a small dragon entered the bakery. The small dragon demanded cookies.

Deavous: *laughs* COOKIES!!

Charles Kendal: Every time the humans asked for gold, the small dragon yelled at them. Saying, quote, “No, not gold now, Selky no naps! Pirates don’t nap, not like babies!” Approximately a hundred gold worth of cookies was stolen.

sir rudeic: That’s a lot of cookies!

Charles Kendal: It seems that on his way out of the bakery, the dragon handed the baker a blue stone and said: “Good Selky, Selky know how to share.”

Malag aste: Great, so Selky kidnapped himself and is off pretending to be a pirate.

Charles Kendal: The baker has taken the stone to a jeweler and found it out that it’s very valuable. I informed the baker that I would need the gem for evidence. It seems the baker no longer wishes to press charges. In fact, he now claims to have little memory of the robbery.

Martyna Z’muir: Shocking.

[Charles Kendal closes his notebook.]

● Kidnapper Cautions

Deavous: Maybe we should check the cave.

John: Where is the better cave?

Groghead Jed: I can direct you there, as long as I don’t have to go with you.

John: Fine, just do it.

Groghead Jed: *hesitates* Are you sure you all really want to go?

Malag aste: Yes

Groghead Jed: You… you all don’t have tails or pirate hats yet… Are you certain you want to go?

John: We are real. You are not.

JINX: Just gate.

Groghead Jed: Well, you’ll regret it, but I’ll be far down a bottle by then.
[He tells them the location of a hidden pirate cave and then stumbles off to the tavern.]


Scene 4: Pirate Cave
The directions lead to a vast cave, with a lake in the center. Platters of cookies are piled up like storied treasure. On an island in the middle of the lake, a tiny crimson dragon in a pirate hat reclines like a sultan. He is guarded by his remaining kidnappers, whose werewolf tails poke through their ninja costumes. They look miserable under their jaunty pirate hats. The waters team with enormous snapping lobster claws, which some Sosarians recognize from a favorite children’s book about the ocean.
The pirate-werewolf-ninjas attack the Royal Guard! They fight back, edging around the lake to some docks that connect with the island. Guards unlucky enough to get near the water feel the pinch of crustacean claws. The little dragon hops around his island, avidly watching the battle and cheering on the best fighters on both sides.
Several guards manage to work their way across the docks to the island, while the battle rages on.

● Fierce Battle, with Milk and Cookies

Selkestal: How you get past the other pirates? Big pirates. *looks across the water at the fighting* Selky pirate dwagon!

Malag aste: I am strong. And I am NOT playing Pirate today. In fact, you have been naughty.

Selkestal: Want a cookie? Is pirate loot, but sometimes we eat it.

Malag aste: No, I do not.

Bless The Fall: You have cookies! I love cookies!

Malag aste: Too many cookies are not good for dragons.

Selkestal: Why?

Malag aste: Give you a tummy ache it will. And hurt your teeth.

Selkestal: Teef are strong. *chews on cookie loudly* See?

Malag aste: Teeth will get holes. Cookies will rot your teeth.

Selkestal: Milk fix! Drink up me hearties, yo ho! *drinks some milk*

Bless The Fall: *With a mouth full of cookies tries to say* I Woondeerr wut hee woud make if he were a chef.

Malag aste: Don’t you want to be at Grandma’s for Thanksgiving? Lots of yummy food to eat.

Selkestal: *drinks more milk and thinks, then shakes his head* Not yet. Pirates live in cabes!

[Selkestal becomes invisible and flies around checking on his pirate-ninja-werewolves.]

[Selkestal returns to his island and studies the Royal Guard and their dragons.]
Selkestal: Big dwagons! Just like Selky! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. *asks* Dwagons, want to be pirates too?

Martyna Z’muir: What would Granny say about you eating so many cookies?

Selkestal: *licks chocolate off of talons* Granny loves Selky. *eats more cookies*

Martyna Z’muir: Most consider pirates to be bad people…

Kruger: That’s why we killed them.

Selkestal: Pirates bad? Book says piles of loot and songs!?

Martyna Z’muir: Aye. Stories are sometimes made gentler. It’s just a story. It’s made up so you can have an adventure in your head.

Selkestal: But we have adventure in cabe, not head. More room.

Martyna Z’muir: True, but you can go anywhere in your head.

Selkestal: Can go anywhere anyway. Am here. *drinks milk* Good ale!

● Captain Pirate

Desmonithus: PIRATES ARE DEAD!

John: You have been ransomed. *gesturing to the cookies* Now it is time to go home.

Zeddicus: You’ve been a bad boy.

Selkestal: Good Selky! Not bad! Selky share his cookies like a good Selky!

Malag aste: No Selky has been BAD. Naughty.

John: Malag, you may not want to alienate the child dragon who can make monsters from his mind.

Malag aste: He needs to know this is not acceptable.

Selkestal: Can’t leave yet, have to see pirate captain!

Bless The Fall: Is he here?

Selkestal: Selky not see him yet. But he has to be here. He was last page of book.

Chrono Dragon: Take us to the captain.

Selkestal: He’s the biggest pirate ninja werewolf, plus he’s… *thinks* A giant squid!

Kruger: Where is he?

Chrono Dragon: Do we need a boat?

Selkestal: Gotta see him! Pirate captain! *claps*

A giant squid shadow-jumps into existence. It wears an enormous pirate hat and an eight-armed ninja jacket. Its werewolf tail slaps the water as it surges forward to attack! The Royal Guard valiantly fights back against the pirate captain that towers over them. Selkestal watches and applauds with his tiny talons. The Royal Guard defeats the monster. Its corpse slams into the water, creating a giant wave that drenches everyone. Then it disappears.

Selkestal: Bye! *waves goodbye to Captain Pirate* Was good adventure!

John: Time to come home.

Selkestal: Selky wanna go home and have dinner with Granny and Mirendly. Is Thanksgiving!

Malag aste: Yes. Thanksgiving.

John: The baby crimson caused great misery to amuse itself. Now we are bringing it home.

Selkestal: *perks up* Thanksgiving dinner, with pie!

Malag aste: Yes, pie.

Zeddicus: Pumpkin pie?

[Selkestal closes his eyes and wishes to go home for Thanksgiving dinner.]


Scene 5: Granny’s House
Selkestal, the Royal Guard, and a large pile of cookies are magically transported to Granny’s house. Princess Mirendel is floating over the Thanksgiving banquet table, her expression alternating between worried and hungry.

Zeddicus: A feast!

Selkestal: Home!

[Princess Mirendel hurries over to Selkestal and hugs him.]
Princess Mirendel: Mirendel so glad Selky home!

Selkestal: Selky glad to be home. *gestures at the cookies* Selky bring pirate loot!

Princess Mirendel: Granny not know Selky go away. Loot?

Malag aste: Cookies.

[Selkestal hands Mirendel a cookie.]
Princess Mirendel: Good loot! *eats cookie*

Malag aste: Mirendel, Selky was naughty.

Princess Mirendel: Granny not know Selky go away. So is all okies.

Kruger: It’s not ok.

Malag aste: Selky made pirates. Scared people.

Selkestal: Where Granny?

Princess Mirendel: Granny go to get more cranberries. *looks guilty* I ated them a little bit.

Selkestal: What we do now?

Princess Mirendel: Let’s play fly around table!

Selkestal: Yay!

Agatha: Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Malag aste: Thank you for the food. And the adventure Selky. Next time just be sure not to hurt anyone.

[Selkestal lands on a pumpkin and waves a talon at everyone.]
Selkestal: Happy Thanksgiving!

John: *staring, disbelief written on his half-hidden eyes*

Princess Mirendel: Goodnight everyone! Thank you for finding my brother. *waves a wing to say goodbye*